1.19.10 Tuesday

Breakfast

This morning I had two hard boiled eggs and a sandwich thin toasted with butter.  It was a delightful breakfast that left me happy and satisfied!

Lunch

It's raining more than I've seen in a very long time and I'm happy to report that I already had lunch so I didn't have to go anywhere!  I planned ahead yesterday and bought soup for a couple more days.  So lentil soup again today -- VERY GOOD!  And I accompanied my soup with a Sandwich Thin toasted and an orange.  Very delicious and very satisfying.  I learned today that oranges and raw almonds keep your skin looking young.  Kind of happy about my afternoon snack -- RAW ALMONDS!  Yay!  After work Randy and I are trying the Core Central class at 24 hour fitness.  Should be interesting!

1.18.10 Monday

Breakfast

This morning on my way into work I realized I forgot my egg, so I stopped at Corner Bakery.  However, this experience was better than the last because I did not order the Farmers Scramble -- instead plain oatmeal with skim milk for this happy camper!  It was perfect and delicious.  I gave my sweet crisp to my friend Liz after breaking off a small piece to sample it.

Lunch

Treated myself to lentil soup again today.  It seemed like a good idea in light of STORMWATCH 2010.  And it delivered!  Super yummy stuff!  I splurged and bought a vat (okay really it was just a big container) of it to eat for lunch the rest of the week.  I love it when you find healthy things that feel like a cheat!

Dinner

Tonight was a potluck at my house.  I ended up having an odd mix of things for dinner.  I had deviled eggs, veggie pizza, and some crackers with spinach and artichoke dip.  For dessert I had small piece of black forest cake.

1.17.10 Sunday

Breakfast

We woke up Sunday around 10:00 a.m. and Chuck was starving.  A few weeks back before I was trying to eat healthier I bought a loaf of cinnamon bread from "The Breadman" who brings a variety of homemade breads into our office for sale.  I splurged and got a loaf knowing Chuck really likes the French toast made using this particular bread.  Anyhow, I made French toast, scrambled eggs and bacon.  My dish looked similar but minus the butter.

Dinner

My day of debauchery didn't end there.  I decided I wanted In-n-Out for dinner.  So I had a cheeseburger combo with an iced tea.

Late Night Snacking

My mom brought home stir fry leftovers my brother made for their dinner together.  I stayed up late and my cheeseburger wore off so I ate the serving of stir fried veggies with noodles.  It was delicious -- but not something I should have indulged in.  Then I had a craving for something sweet... so I ventured into the kitchen and partook in ice cream, nilla wafers and chocolate chips.

1.16.10 Saturday

Exercise

Chuck and I started the day off with 30 minutes of catch.  It was really fun.  I'm not the best at it but that's a good thing when trying to exercise.  I'm going to try and hit the gym a little later to do some additional cardio. My right arm was super sore almost immediately after we were done.  Really fun!

Brunch

After playing catch we were starving and thirsty.  I went to El Pollo Loco and got three of these bad boys (taco al carbon) and one small side of bbq black beans.  It was delicious and filling!  I love these tacos because they come with two tortillas and I like to split them apart and dumping the chicken in each equally.  It feels like I'm eating twice as mI also had two bites of Chuck's churro and it was just enough to fill the craving. I had an iced tea and sparkling water to drink.  Absolutely perfect!

Dinner

Panda Express for dinner tonight.  I was responsible and went online to figure out the most healthy choices at a seemingly completely unhealthy restaurant.  I had white rice, chow mein, mushroom chicken, steamed veggies and three cream cheese wontons with sweet & sour sauce.  I also ate my fortune cookie. It was delicious and I didn't feel guilty after!

1.15.10 Dead Phone = No pictures

Breakfast

I had my Sandwich Thin breakfast sandwich w/ egg, green pepper, mushroom, and laughing cow cheese.  It was tasty and I'm spreading the word of microwaving eggs.  I feel like I should get some sort of financial benefit for promoting eggs.

This morning I woke up and my phone had a white screen that just said "JVM Error 102" and nothing would happen.  When I hopped on the internet to see what it meant it turns out it means the phone is pretty much useless and all information it contained is gone.  So for now, I don't know how I'm going to document my food other than using what I already have or finding pictures online.

Lunch

I treated myself to a very yummy lunch today.  I went across the street and bought some red lentil soup from Bristol Farms.  It was seriously delicious and filling.  This afternoon we had a birthday celebration in the office and I had a small piece of extraordinary pineapple upside down cake and 1/2 cup of vanilla ice cream.  Yummy food day!

Snack

I had to stay late at work tonight and I was starting to get extremely hungry so I ate a Kashi granola bar and staved off the hunger for a bit longer.  Chuck and I decided to go see a movie tonight so I got the kids meal that came with a small popcorn, fruit snacks and a small diet coke.  I only ate half the popcorn (which I drizzled with a little bit of butter just for the flavor and some salt, plus Chuck grabbed the first hand full so a lot of it was taken by him I think).

Dinner

We had In-n-Out after the movie.  I usually get the animal style double double meal, but I opted for the cheeseburger with grilled onions.  I should have gotten the hamburger with grilled onions and no special sauce, but I splurged.  I ended up only eating 2/3 of my fries -- which doesn't sound like an accomplishment but I love fries.  Before I ordered I was only going to get a hamburger and a drink but in my mind when I was ordering the only way to do it was ordering the combo.  In retrospect, it costs the same to just order the drink and burger.  Again, I'm adding this experience to the list of things I'd do differently next time.

Dessert

For dessert last night I had a banana and peanut butter with 6 Nilla Wafers.  It was perfect!  I didn't even have ice cream.

1.14.10 Exercise Day

Breakfast

Today I tried something new.  I used the Orowheat Sandwich Thins to make my breakfast sandwich this morning.  All the usual players -- eggs, green bell pepper, mushroom, Laughing Cow cheese, but with the sandwich thin in place of English Muffin. Really good switch.  I also had a Kashi bar on my way into work because I was starving when I woke up.  These dark chocolate coconut bars are really tasty.  I'm a big fan and was kind of surprised that Chuck really liked them too!

Lunch

Today was leftover day.  I had a stuffed bell pepper from last night with some corn.  It was pretty delicious -- even as a day two meal.

Snack

Liz made popcorn and gave me some.  It was delicious and by no means light.  Luckily, I had a small portion and don't have any feelings of remorse and I thoroughly enjoyed the flavor!  This picture is deceptive though because the banana actually was eaten by Chuck after he arrived at my office to pick me up from work.  ;)  He was a very hungry boy from walking miles and miles.

Exercise

Randy and I continued to keep up with our gym routine.  Tonight we did turbo kickboxing with instructor Cliff.  I have to say I was a little bummed I had to drive to Foothill Ranch to go to work out, but the instructor made up for that by being pretty much awesome!  It was a hardcore work out and I was doing pretty well until right at the end.  I think my endurance is getting better.  He had such great energy.  I thoroughly enjoyed the class, company and experience all together.

Dinner

I had a picture of dinner, but my phone decided to pass away during my sleep taking with it all of my pictures.  My mom made dinner last night after I got home.  It was a pretty genius healthy dinner, we had roasted chicken (made by the market), mixed vegetables, brown rice (microwaveable!) and a spinach, strawberry, walnut, poppyseed dressing salad.  I was delighted to see that 1 tbsp of poppyseed dressing was only 100 cal/4 g of fat and a completely perfect portion of dressing on top of that.  I know it seems like a lot of calories for dressing, but to get the real flavor the price seemed worth it.  Plus, I worked my butt off in class.

Dessert

Chuck made sugar cookies tonight.  I was doing so well.  I had actually forgotten that he made them, then he handed me one... and I without thinking about it I popped it in my mouth.  Then I thought, "hmmm... that was tasty... I think I will have another..."  So I did.  Luckily that was the last sugar cookie for the night, then I had a few of my mini ice cream sandwiches.  I should have just said no to the sugar cookies.  I probably ate what I did in class tonight.  Next time, I will just say no!  Like Ronald Reagan taught me.

1.13.10 No Exercise Today...

Breakfast

Today I altered my usual sandwich slightly by adding mushrooms into the mix.  It was really good.  This and a banana is completely fulfilling.

Lunch

For lunch today I tried High Fiber Progresso Minestrone soup with a small side of brown rice.  I really loved all the flavors and textures.  You just can't go wrong with brown rice and veggies!!

Snack
I had to go grocery shopping on the way home for dinner.  I knew I'd be super hungry if I didn't have a snack first so I ate a small snack sized bag of Cheez-Its.  Totally almost held me over until dinner, however, I had a few tortilla chips and onion dip.  The tortilla chips and onion dip are really low in calories and fat so it was the perfect thing to munch on to stave off salt cravings.

Dinner

After aimlessly walking the grocery store looking for bulghar for my Greek-Style Stuffed Red Peppers, I gave up and substituted brown rice.  The peppers contained a mixture of extra lean hamburger, frozen chopped spinach, onion, brown rice, grated zucchini, stewed tomatoes, and LF feta cheese for the top.  They tasted alright, but fairly bland.  I served them with canned corn and instant mashed potatoes (made with non-fat milk but real butter).  I did indulge in potatoes because I wanted them, they tasted good, and weren't unimaginably horrible for me.

Dessert

My usual ice cream, nilla wafers, chocolate chips and a banana.  Nothing exciting.

Brand New Day...

Breakfast

So while yesterday's start was incredibly disappointing, I did glean from it something I hadn't thought of -- green bell peppers!  I cut them up into tiny pieces and mixed them in with my scrambled eggs for my breakfast sandwich this morning.  It was part of the ingredients in the farmers scramble from hell yesterday and a nice addition this morning -- but healthier.  I think this is my new favorite breakfast sandwich.  I was also delighted to find a honeycrisp apple in our kitchen here at work.  My boss always keeps apples in the kitchen for people to snack on.  Very good!

Lunch

For lunch it was a small red burrito and hard shell taco from Del Taco.  Before it would have been a large bean and cheese burrito, nacho fries and maybe one or two tacos.  I was completely satisfied with my meal.


Snack

Sweet and salty is always my downfall.  After my lunch I need a little pick-me-up before hell hour with the Shadowboxing Nazi.  This is what I had with some water. It did the job!  Handful of Cheez-Its, banana, and all natural peanut butter.

Excercise

45 minutes of pure hell (aka Shadowboxing) was endured tonight followed by 10 minutes cool down on the treadmill.  Randy and I went to the class thinking we were in for the same awesome work out as last week, however, to our shock and surprise there was a new drill captain in town.  Who knew that the pregnant instructor would be far more harsh than the non-pregnant one.  I felt like I had no excuses about not being able to finish if there was the instructor was 7 months pregnant and doing just fine.  Yeesh.  Yay for not dying!

Dinner

After all the hard work I decided to have something healthy for dinner.  I microwaved a half of spaghetti squash and topped it with lean hamburger (4 oz only!! because I measured it out with my food scale!! Pat on back here), bell pepper, onion, mushrooms and spaghetti sauce.  I had a great picture of it finished but I accidentally erased it.

Dessert


I was craving peanut butter and banana with a glass of skim milk, so I indulged.  Then, I wanted a little bit of  ice cream, cookies, and chocolate chips!  Yum!

Not again!

Breakfast

My intention was to get back on track today.  The weekend was peppered with terrible nutritional choices.  I really need to go grocery shopping because I have no food left in the house.  Due to time constraints I decided to just pop into Corner Bakery and grab something -- I thought okay, healthy toast, some red potatoes, eggs, veggies and smidge of cheese.  How bad can that be?  Well come to find out once I logged on to their site just the eggs alone contain 27 grams of fat.  Holy shmoly.  What a great way to re-start!  Right back to square one.  Bummer!  I even had the thought while I was choosing -- "if I could just see a nutritional menu I'd be so much better off," but did I ask for one?  NO!  Darn!

Lunch

I may be delusional but I think I made wise choices for lunch.  This was a whole veggie sandwich with only one piece of swiss.  I tossed the cheddar in the trash.  I ended up eating the banana and a vanilla pudding cup for snack after this but all in all pretty good choices.  It always feels good when the lunch lady says -- "oh such healthy choices."  Now I need to think about what I can do for dinner that won't set me back again.

Exercise

Tonight, Randy, Alex, Christina, Rowdy and I walked around Laguna for about an hour.  It just felt like we were hanging out.  It didn't even register as cardio.  Lots of fun.  Definitely something to keep doing!  Tomorrow SHADOWBOXING... DUNT DUNT DUNNNNN (scary music).

Dinner

I think Dinner went well.  Some green salad with a dash of blue cheese (80 cal/8 g fat in 2 tbsp) and two flour tortillas with fajitas and pinto beans.  It was delicious and I didn't have to feel bad after I got done eating.

Dessert

So this week is pretty repetitive but in a good way.

Weekends are not my friend...

Breakfast/Lunch

This is not my actual burger but one that I found that was similar to what I had.  Big wave with cheese, wheat bun, with fries.  I only had one slice of cheese though -- this one in the pic looks like two.  I went out for lunch with my family on Sunday and everyone was ordering and I just decided I didn't want to be health conscious -- even though Islands is a slam dunk as far as what I have as healthy options!!  All I had to say was Veggie burger lite!  Did those words come out of my mouth -- NO!  Why not?  No, it wasn't the fact that while I was getting ready to order my mouth was full of tortilla chips and the waiter misunderstood me, no, it was that I wanted to taste yummy beef, onions and mustard all combined together on a tasty buttered bun.  Dear God, then Shanzilla didn't stop there.  Next it was on to the fries!  Every last one eaten, with ketchup?  No, no, with RANCH!  What the hell!?  The only thing I was missing was a nice big fattening shake.  (I had passion iced tea).  I think my previous two days of reckless eating carried over to my decision.  I really need to separate my days in my mind to not carry over bad eating habits.  It is decisions like this that leave me where I am.  Hopeless of making progress and wasting any cardio activity done -- which also was not an issue since I did none this weekend.

Dinner

While this seems to be the next level down on the spiral of shame, it's actually not as bad as it could have been.  I got a small Jr. Whopper combo with onion rings.  I was going to just order a regular whopper with fries, but then I got on the website to decide what I wanted and I could not bring myself to recklessly eat a Whopper knowing the combo contained 65 grams of fat.  The only thing that grounded my decision back to Earth was the knowledge of knowing the nutritional content of the food.  I think that this may be the key to getting to the right place. I need to start being aware of what I'm eating at the very least.

Dessert & Late Night Snacks

I had my new favorite dessert.  Afterwards, I had a handful of raw almonds.  Could have been better and worse.

Repent...

Breakfast

Forgive me food father for I have sinned.  This morning I decided to wake up and hop back on the truck after my downward spiral of demise.  Nonfat milk, peanut butter on whole wheat english muffins, orange, and a sweet & salty bar.  It was a fantastic way to start my day!  All the perfect elements.  I was satisfied well into the afternoon!

Lunch

Red alert, red alert... we have another infiltrator.  I have again made poor decision.  For lunch today, a LARGE avocado and turkey from Togo's accompanied by baked Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream.  As if the baked chips make up for any part of the sandwich I ate the entirety of.  Sigh....

Dinner

For dinner I had two tacos al carbon from El Pollo Loco with a small side of beans.  It was a pretty healthy dinner and I feel like somewhat of a make up for eating Togo's earlier.

Dessert & Late Night Snacking

These little morsels are tiny chipwiches made with FF vanilla ice cream, nilla wafers, and mini morsels.  They are absolutely perfect and yummy.  I ate these then a bunch of cheez-its.  I should have stopped after the ice cream sandwiches but sadly, I did not.

Day Four - Still feeling motivated!

Breakfast

This morning I had one of my staple breakfast items -- faux Egg McMuffin.  I've replaced all unhealthy ingredients with healthier options -- and it actually tastes better to me.  Banana and water are a must!  :)  Feeling good today.  So happy I went to the gym last night.  I really can't believe how much I love where I live.  The gym in our apartment complex was such a pleasant experience that I'm looking forward to going back tonight.

Lunch

Slim pickings today.  It's time to re-up at the grocery store so I found a left over baked potato from last night's dinner and accompanied it with some vegetarian chili from the cupboard.  Additionally, I also had the leftover peas -- which had butter mixed in.  The butter could have been cut out of the meal and it would have been healthier -- but not the end of the world.

Dinner

Okay, I know what you're thinking "Ummmm, Shannon, that is a heap of macaroni salad that has equally as much mayo in it...and accompanied by a BURGER!"  Yes, tiny voice in my head that keeps trying to keep me on track, this is true.  My mom made dinner and it was delicious.  In hindsight, the burger/mac/mayo combo was definitely not within the realm of things I should be eating, but mom made it.  She even asked me what I wanted and I left it in her hands.  She repeatedly asked and instead of coming up with a healthy choice which I should have done, I ate it.  I also had some Lays Classic potato chips (not pictured above).  Next time I will give her some ideas or pass on the mac salad or had a small portion, and half of just the burger.  I think in trying to make this a lifestyle and not call it a diet, I still have to find borders for myself.  I need to have a backbone when it comes to eating -- otherwise this will not work.

Late Night Snacking

No pictures exist for the chicken breast and white rice I ate later after dinner.  It was like an entirely other meal.  I don't know if it was the mentality that my day was already ruined so why not?  or what!  It shouldn't have happened, but it did.  Need to reign in these splurges.

Building Steam...Choo choooooo

Breakfast & Lunch

This morning I woke up, packed my food, drove in to work, started up my computer, got to my daily Shannonigans, looked at the clock and realized it was nearly 11 a.m. and I was still not hungry for breakfast.  It's such a weird feeling to not have your day follow your stomach around.  My itinerary was guided by the clock instead of my appetite.  I thought that this may just be a just woke up in the morning thing, but then after I ate my breakfast, I continued on with my day and looked at the clock and to my surprise it was 2 p.m.!  Still not hungry but knowing that I should eat, I did.  And I've had about 3 glasses of water and I'm going back for more!  This is that feeling that I love so much.  Making good choices and reaping the benefits.

For breakfast today, I had a whole wheat english muffin, scrambled eggs with a Laughing Cow Lite triangle blended in, and a banana.  For lunch, a whole wheat english muffin bun with a veggie chicken pattie and dijon mustard, and a can of Healthy Request Savory Vegetable Soup.  Delish!

Excercise!!

Tonight after work I ventured down to our gym at the apartment and it was nicer than 24 hour fitness!  I can't believe that it's been there this whole time and I only just went for the first time tonight.  I did a half an hour on the elliptical and half an hour on the treadmill --all while watching Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern, talk about inspiration to keep moving.  Seeing him in his boxers was enough to motivate me to do a whole hour as opposed to the original half that I intended to do.  I had a banana too when I got back, but another one's already been captured above.

Dinner

My mom made dinner last night.  We had pork chops, baked potatoes, caesar salad, apple sauce and biscuits.  She was so thoughtful and did such a great job.  I shouldn't have had Caesar salad or the biscuit but I let myself splurge a little since I worked out first.

After dinner we went and saw Avatar again.  I had about 1/4 of a big ass Diet Coke.  I had originally tried to get a tea but their machine was broken!!  :-/  Oh well!

Today I'm happy because I worked out for an hour and didn't make perfect choices for food but ones that I can live with.

Say hello to my little friend...

Hands down one of my favorite snacks in between meals.  Sweet and salty is one of my favorite flavor profiles.  However the usual way I find these flavors is in ice cream and then some chips or something.  This is a much better, healthier option.

Today I'm already over this blog idea of mine.  But then I feel like I should keep on writing because there's probably some level of denial that I'm not facing -- hence, leaving me not wanting to do it.  I'm now forcing myself to continue on.  Last night and for lunch leftover mania today, I had chicken breast slow cooked with Mexican stewed tomatoes and brown rice.  It's very tasty and very yummy.  I had a banana after I returned from my shadowboxing class (sidenote: which kicked my ass) at the gym last night and it offset how hungry I was for actual dinner.  It was pretty cool to be able to only really be hungry for about 1/3 of what I had on my plate.  The only detour from my plan was late night snacking.  I need to avoid the kitchen unless it's to pick up a salty and sweet nutty friend or fruit.  I'm going to make those my options and tell Chuck so that he can slam cupboards on my fingers or something.  Ok, maybe not that violent but at least he'll know that I know that he knows I shouldn't be in there.

I was reading WW success stories online today.  One of them actually made me well up with tears.  It was an ordinary story of a woman who lost 200 pounds in 2 years.  What an amazing feat.  I can imagine how great that must have felt.  I think that is something I want to achieve at some point.  I'm trying to slowly ramp up this time.  I don't want failure to feel like it's being shoved in my face but I don't want to feel like this anymore.   One of the analogies on the WW site about losing weight was taking a road trip.  You don't just give up because you got lost or went the wrong way you keep on going.  I'm going to try and make that a mantra.  I'm on a road trip I want to get to my destination, I just need to keep driving, just keep driving, just keep driving, driving driving driving (with a touch of Dory from Finding Nemo).  ;)  The other common thread was people who's expectations were to just slowly lose weight.  I think this is the approach I'm going to take as well.  Set my sites on having the weight off in two years.  One very valid point was that the luxury or silver lining of having this much weight to lose is that you have a very long time to teach yourself a new lifestyle and ease your way into it.

A friend of mine commented that he and another of my friends noticed my weight gain looking at pictures from Christmas -- as in 2 weeks ago -- Christmas.  It was the first time that someone had told me that my weight gain had actually spurred a discussion -- outside of my presence.  I think as well as I thought I was hiding I was really just in some form of denial brought on by being lazy.  This being lazy thing and unmotivated is such a frustrating state of mind to try and escape.  The constant feeling of kind of wanting to cry from disappointment at my current weight would be a nice feeling to get rid of.  I'd like to just feel shiny and happy and not think about how I can suck something in or find something baggy to wear.  I think after awhile every day of knowing you are heavy is like another brick being laid on your chest, weighing you down.  It feels impossible to be able to shake them all off.  The burden feels overwhelming.  I think I'm trying to ease myself back into eating what I should be eating and doing the things I know I need to do.  It would help so many aspects of my life.  I don't like my hair, body, or wardrobe right now... really nothing about my outward appearance.  I need something to change.  I can't see myself living this way the rest of my life.  It's not me.

Dinner & Coffee


Lan and I met up for dinner, coffee, and AVATAR!!!  It was a very fun night and the best part was I was able to make healthy choices.  We went to Islands and I was able to order from their Bikini Beach menu.  I had a passion iced tea, some tortilla chips, the Turkey Burger Lite (only 680 cal. and they don't tempt you with fries -- it's steamed veggies instead!!  GENIUS!!) and then a Skinny Vanilla Latte after dinner!  It was perfect!  The thing I'm most proud of from last night was that I didn't late night snack at ALL!!

Day One - Lunch

Lunch - Brown Rice/Veggie Crumbles/Corn/Steamed Broccoli & Carrots,

Vanilla Pudding

I have just decided to start a blog about eating...I've completely run out of ideas about how to impact my own brain and become motivated to get on the fitness train.  I thought maybe if I can visualize all the things I put into my system I can get my mind and body to connect.  Right now I feel like my mind isn't connected with my body.  My mind is just doing what it feels like and if something is going to taste good then it goes in.  My poor body isn't speaking to my mind for what I can only imagine is because of the way my body has paid the price for my mind's poor decision making.  I am always aware of the fact that if I just get started I'll be happier, and yet, starting is the toughest part.  It's so frustrating to enjoy the taste and flavors of foods.  I wish I didn't connect them so much with emotions like happy and satisfied.